Reflecting Back on the World's Most Hated Year

Before I jump into 2021, I wanted to hit pause to reflect on the year we’re leaving behind.  I know that most of us are cheering as we say goodbye to perhaps the most hated year, Worldwide. 

One of the best tools I have for thinking about the year that is concluding is my Vision Board.  I make one every January, as well as host vision board workshops.  Here are some things that really stood out from all the images and words I collected:

1.     The phrase “Uncommon Beauty.”  Like most of what I glue on the board, I don’t really understand why I’m choosing it in the moment, yet over the course of time, these words and pictures reveal their meaning.  Here at the end of 2020,  understand this phrase so clearly.  To be honest, I’ve never felt “beautiful” as defined by being attractive or pretty.  That doesn’t mean that I grew up feeling ugly either.  Perhaps I didn’t feel that I qualified as “attractive” because my mother was a model when she was younger and while we share genes, I don’t have the “All American”, blond, skinny with bright green eyes look that made her regular in magazines like Seventeen.  Those photos of her defined to me what “beautiful” was.  That stereotype of beauty was reinforced through my high school experience where the “pretty people” were blond and tan from summers spent at the Shore (Jersey folks will understand) and were invited to parties with kegs. 

I’m now 44, far from the days of high school. Yet only recently have I resolved this issue with feeling attractive.  What’s even more ironic is that this peace come has when I’ve gained like 10 lbs! (Hello, survival beer – I’m looking at you!)  Right now I feel the most beautiful I’ve ever felt.  Yes, I feel like I need to loose weight and “get in shape” but I look in the mirror and I actually feel like I look good.  Perhaps it’s from being away from people for so long – all the parties where I couldn’t figure out what to wear or the day to day getting dressed and looking in the mirror to see if it looks “right” or my grey roots were too obvious or whatever – all the little times during the day that I would judge myself based on what I thought others might think.  Being away from everyone gave me the space to re-evaluate my own thoughts about beauty.  And that has been an uncommonly beautiful gift.

2.     “Sleep Better Every Night”  I firmly believe that sleep is the BEST way to keep healthy.  That being said, I struggle with getting solid sleep.  In my quest to take better care of myself, I got an Apple Watch.  It’s been helpful to see my progress with reaching my 8 hour an night goal.  To achieve this goal, I will probably need to be in bed for 9+ hours since it takes me awhile to actually get to sleep and I wake up often. Right now I’m getting about 7 hours.  I still have this 2 am wake up period but it’s getting better.

3.     “Cover Story”  I was in Women’s Day Magazine this year so I feel like I can totally connect to this part of my vision!

4.     “A Handmade Life”  Over the last few years, I’ve stepped away from a lot of the crafty things I used to do.  I deeply miss making things with my hands (that might sound weird, since I’m a flower farmer).  At the start of 2020 I felt pulled to connect back with my crafts.  Well, thanks to coronavirus, I had time to pick back up sewing, mending pants, canning, and all kinds of crafty hobbies that I hadn’t touched in years.

5.     “After the Chrysalis”  This season of being away from others has truly been a chrysalis experience.  I feel different / changed. I feel something more wonderful/ powerful is emerging in myself.  I’m excited about that prospect.  

I’ll be making my 2021 Vision Board shortly. 

Here’s to New Beginnings!